Image by Joshua Reddekopp via Unsplash
I was inspired to write this post after joining several online parenting groups. It seems that several themes of questions continually arise in the groups.
To anyone who has these same questions listed below, I’ll give you some great, succinct advice for each of them. *wink*
**NOTE: This is intended to be somewhat satirical. Enjoy the humour 😉
1. Q: My 1 year old son got ahold of my daughters peanut butter toast about an hour ago, if he is allergic would symptoms show already?
A: Call healthlink 811.
2. Q. My son has a fever. This is his first one. What do I do?
A: Call Healthlink 811.
3. Q: My daughter has this awful rash. It’s making her miserable! Diaper cream isn’t doing anything for her bottom, but the rash is also all over her stomach and her back. She has a fever and is super cranky. What do I do?
A: Don’t bother calling Healthlink. Or waste time asking random moms online. Just go to a doctor.
4. Q. My son keeps rubbing his ear and seems to be in a lot of pain. He is shaking his head and constantly crying and I cannot settle him down. What should I do?
A. Seriously? Go to the doctor!
5. Q. I am taking “x” medication, “y” medication and “z” medication. I’m worried that these meds will get into my breast milk and harm my baby. What do you moms think? I’m not sure what to do.
A: The probability of any mom on this forum actually being a doctor or a pharmacologist is slim, so my answer to you is, ask your doctor or call…you guessed it… Healthlink 811.
6. Q: My LO is just under 1 year old and still gets up for a feeding at night how can I get this to stop so I can get some sleep?
A: Babies wake up at night to eat. Welcome to parenting and kiss your regular 8 hour sleep cycle goodbye.
7. Q: Moms, I’m having a huge problem with my daughter. I cannot get her to eat anything other than junk! All she wants is cookies, goldfish crackers, chips, or granola bars. How do I make this stop!?
A: Um, just don’t give them to her? Better yet, don’t even buy junk – then it’s not in the house to begin with. If she gets hungry enough she’ll eat an apple.
8. Q: Is anyone on here a lawyer that can give me some legal advice on dealing with custody issues with me ex?
A: Not sure a Facebook mom’s group is the best place to go looking for legal advice. Might I suggest a local lawyer specialized in child custody? Yes, unlike Facebook user advice, you will probably have to pay for a real lawyer.
9. Q: Do these poops look healthy? *Insert several images zoomed in on poopy diapers*.
A: I was not expecting to see such closeup details of feces today. Thanks for that though. If you’re concerned, visit your doctor.
10. Q: I’m wondering if I’m experiencing labour? I’m having what I am pretty sure are contractions but this is my first baby so I’m not sure? My stomach gets so tight and campy but then it stops and is fine, and then it starts all over again. Help!
A: Go to the hospital and enjoy meeting your baby! Congrats mama!
Hope you enjoyed a little laugh. Sometimes it’s fun to poke a little humour at ourselves as mom’s. Granted, all of these were real questions I saw on parenting groups and forums, but I know I’ve asked some silly things too. It’s all good. Let’s not take ourselves too seriously.